since when is chalk drawing illegal?

Watching VH1

One hot TriBeCa spring day, this dude was walking down Laight street, back when the scaffolding was still up and The Wetlands was still opened. Anyway he was walking down the block, talking shit, sipping a can of pepsi, when a bird rolls up and shit on his head. He was about to be really pissed when his friend says to him "Yo you know that's good luch right?" Naturally my friend didn't believe him, when suddenly he tripped and spotted a hundred dollar bill on the street.

Now naturally, you'd probably just think it was coincidence that something like that would happen, but a few days later, another bird crapped on his head, and later on that day his friend called him up inviting him to a Bikini Kill concert, because they were the shit in the 90's. At the concert, he was mingling, about to get a drink, when all of a sudden he bumped into the hottest indy girl there who wasn't even a lesbian (if you don't know Bikini Kill is so dykey it's not even funny). She was all "hey what's goin on?" They started talking , one thing lead to another, and the dude found himself with a date the next week.

At this point the dude was crazy with this whole birds taking a shit on his head thing. He was getting crapped on more than the germans in those Scheisse films, nahmean? He'd hang out at washington square park with the pigeons and the homeless people and feed all the pigeons, hoping they'd take a crap on him. He was fucking insane I swear to god.

The day of his big date he was freaking out, he was all "yo maybe if the birds shit on me I'll get laid tonight." So he went to the park to get the birds to shit on him again. Of course they did, it was like reflex now, after a week. So he went home, all proud of himself and whatever, but when he got home he looked through his things and realized "Oh fuck I have nothing to wear!" So he went to his roommate's room and on his dresser was a letter.

"Dude... There's shit all over your clothes, you're lucky I'm going to the laundromat today, but you're gonna have to hang out at home for a while cause you don't have any clothes."

Needless to say the guy was screwed. The girl was pissed he blew her off, so she never called him back. The dude, as messed up as he was, grew an obsession with her and kept sending her weird emo letters; needless to say they were as crappy as his clothing.

Don't go looking for luck, let it find you.

My Lucky Day

Today was a really good day, I went to the graffiti store today called the scrapyard, they have a bunch of graffiti merchandise. What was great about it was the people there didn't even card me, they just gave it to me. What's even better is I didn't get busted by the Vandal Squad! New York is really cracking down on that stuff so you gotta be careful. It's all Ed Koch's fault.

So anyway then me and this kid Max, who is coming to the high school next year, walked through SoHo to Broadway, and I found two 4 by 4 canvases on the street, perfectly clean and stretched! It was awsome! I dunno what I'm going to do with them yet, but first I have to coat them with gesso or rabbit skin glue or something. Then I'll think of something. I'll probably do some kind of stencil work for it with my new paints.

MTV is garbage. I'm watching this show called the 70's house, which is being really stupid. These people are so ignorant I don't know where they get them from. First of all, they went to a hip hop club to disco dance, of course I wouldn't expect them to know this, but hip hop was actually born in the 70's so they could have breakdanced a little. The moves would be limited but they wouldn't be totally lost. I kind of don't like this whole new wave of white people being down with hip hop, I feel like it's a symbol of how the media has finally taken over the culture. But I guess it's too late to complain about that.

But back to MTV. It's no longer music as you probably already know, it's not stupid fat 20 year olds that look like their 14 doing stupid stuff, and crudely done tv shows where they all do the same stupid stuff in every show. I don't get how no one sees it, a lot of people claim to see it but they don't really. I just feel like they should call it Media Television instead of Music Television. It's sick how low people will go these days to please people. Maybe whats even sicker is how low peoples' standards are, whatever happened to entertainment?

I'm really into the blues right now

I just got a new harmonica with my friend Aiyana today, it's a c. I love how buying harmonica's sounds like buying a bra. I was buying it and the lady at the store says "what do you want it in?" and I said "hmmm, do you have any in a g?" and she says no, so I say "well I'll just get the one in a c then." It was pretty cheap too, only 12 bucks. So now I'm listening to Robert Johnson, Junior Wells, Little Walter and Willie Dixon. I dunno, I think that after the whole civil rights movement, the blues was kind of killed, cause even though there were things like "my girl just dumped me" blues, there wasn't that underlying feeling of oppression any longer, that was at the heart of blues music. But enough with that intellectual crap.

Then after buying a harmonica I went to Parson's to pick up my friend Carolyn, who is really into indie culture and whatnot. We went to Ft. something, to go to this girl Lara's house, who is mad obnoxious. Then we walked to Park Slope and I felt very excluded. I dunno, I'm just tired of all this indie garbage, it's like the people into that scene are just as bad as mainstream culture, just listen to different music and buy cheaper clothes sometimes. Same shit new asshole kind of deal. A lot of people in that scene act like their into art and music just cause they can name names, but if you don't have the talent or the respect for the artists and musicians that paved the way, you're just spitting game.

I'm totally into what Basquiat was trying to do, he saw what was happening to the art world, and how it was becoming just about the money and a search for legitimacy, and he started an effort to kill the monster. He regressed his style to the raw essence of art, just drawing and writing what he thought, laughing at the idiots trying to decipher it, because not everything needs a meaning if it's what you love to do. Would you ask Robert Johnson why he wrote music? No, would you ask Miles Davis where he got his note from? No. People just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Uprock/Primal Urges

This is the Notorious B.I.G. the best rapper in the universe. I think I'm gonna talk a lot about hip hop on this blog, meaning rap, graffiti, b-boying and dj's.

I'm really into old hip hop fashion right now. Like those thick glasses that all the kids up in the ghetto had, and the pants, and the addidas, and the four finger rings. And of course all the fucking chains, it was beautiful. There's a hat store across from my house, so maybe I'll buy a Kangol or something.

I guess I'll start out with a list of my favorite rappers. Cause I'm a loser, leave me alone.

1. Nas
2. Notorious B.I.G.
3. Aesop Rock
4. Chuck D
5. Big Daddy Kane
6. Bigg Jus
7. El-P
8. Kool Keith
9. Method Man
10. GZA

There you have it, pretty cliche but whatever.

So anyways, today my friend and I were talking about what we've always wanted to do to a baby. She's always wanted to just punt one, and I've always wanted to drop one, shake one or throw one. The only reason I've really ever wanted to do it is because society says I can't. This got me to thinking, where did the phrase "you're so cute I could eat you up" come from? What if when we think a baby is cute it's really just our desire to eat them? What if it's human nature to want to eat their children, and it's just been supressed over the years? That would be so weird and we'd all be disgusted with ourselves, but things like that happen all the time, like it's a guy's nature to check out a girl, there's nothing we can do about it really. It's a weird concept, but whatever.

That got me to thinking, I've always wanted to fight an animal. So I'm always being mean to my dog, even though I love him, I want to fight him, just to show dominance. I'll never fight him though, he's my best friend, I'll just keep feeding him.

Enter Harpoon Tokyo Robot Pink Lightning

Seems simple enough, I'll be completely honest with you I'm really just on this cause I'm a pathetic follower and Gabriella uses it. But I'm down with blogs. Hopefully I do something more constructive with this one than on my livejournal: www.livejournal.com/~__tomb (I mean, not to whore myself out or anything).

Anyway, I'm being gay for a week. My logic is this: if I pretend I'm gay, I won't be bugged by people when I shave my legs. People would just think it's a normal thing to do as a gay person, because they're ignorant. It would probably work cause I'm kind of flamboyant, which is another gay stereotype.

Oh and that's me with the afro, I'm making invitations to this party I hosted that I didn't go to. Pretty weird I guess.

FIRE!